I saw something similar like that here in Fiji among some of our nationals.....the other day as one of our students was making his way out of the dining hall one of his female class mates walked by and gave him a tap on the back by placing her hand on his shoulders, surprisingly he forcefully took off her hands from him.....nothing was said then but I came away with some thoughts.....waswe hem ya hem rite way tu ya? What na friend blo hem ya bae feel about hem ya man? Ating mifala sit down lo there nao so hem fright 4 gel ya 4 greetim hem osem ya...mi confuse
Greeting a person eye to eye,
Having a colleague of the oppsite sex wrap her arms around you,
A kiss and hug for a welcome,
Having an opposite sex as a mate,
These are all taboos in our traditions and are a no-no.
If a Solomon Islander has problems or issues with the above that doesnt make them any way inferior or gave us license to declare those who do not accept or practice the above habitual actions to be inferior.
It only means that the above 'kastoms' are alien to our kastoms and that we are not accustomed to them.
A lot of Solomon Islanders take for granted the fact that not all of us are exposed to the western culture.
Eye to eye contact is a westen culture. In a melanesian culture it is not proper for you to meet a person for the first time and make eye to eye. It is rude.
In the same way, some of our wantoks from traditionally conservative backgrounds will find it hard to get accustomed to female mates wrapping their arms round you when at home that is a no-no. That doesnt make them any less civilised than you or me. It only means that they have a bit of catching up to do when it comes to 'white-man's' culture.
The important thing for our young people to grasp when they go for a tertiary education away from the comfort zone of home is not about knowing the ettiquetes of western culture. No. What is important is for them to know how to think for themselves. That is the basis of tertiary education. To be able to think, deduce, reason for onseself.
Taem iu kam baek long home anda taem iu trae for lukaot waka then bae iu save. Iu go lo uni not for iu become an expert in your field ia, iu go for iu save lanem hao for thing for yourself. Hem nomoa. A lot of our uni students cant differentiate that.
All the best to new uni students this yr.
I found your thoughts(BigRedFish) to be well explained....anyways let's not stop such things from keeping us from the venturing into our world of studies....
Good luck also to our new students..
BigRedFish, thanks for the thoughts - very thoughtful as usual.
As a contributing author to the story I felt compelled to offer some insight. I think our dear Anonymous friend highlighted a different aspect of the story, one that dealt with a slightly different issue.
In this story, however, the point that it wants to make is that Solomon Islanders in most works of life tend to be very passive (not only in the villages but is more evident there). But if we are to be part of the global village, which we are unfortunately part of anyway, we need to assert ourselves confidently. The story from the village to me still illustrates the leftovers from the colonial days when we were "boys & girls" and the whites were "boss/madam"....in an evolving world - we need to adapt if we must succeed. The impression that people get may be negative to the extent that this is the reason why we find ourselves at the wrong end of the stick sometimes...ie we feel exploited....I think I felt motivated to contribute to the story because I watched a youtube clip of a Rendova village meeting and that clip clearly illustrates this point...those in positions of power and prestige often sweet talk themselves and ruin our lives because we cannot assert ourselves...make our voices heard...the closest I can come to describing this issue is that it is a inferiority complexity problem carried over from the bygone years of colonialism - its unfortunate that in many ways we are still caught in that era and people often take advantage of us.
Making eye contact even with another local is a very good way of starting on the right note: that we are all equals.....
As for Anonymous's contribution - well there may be a whole host of other factors and not related to the inferiority complexity issue the story tries to make. But thanks for starting this thread anyway....
Quick point here. Solomons was never colonised, it was a protectorate of the British Government. Colonisation means to colonise a place, i.e. bring in lots of settlers, such as Australia and New Zealand. The only time the Solomons was nearly colonised was when the Japs turned up.
Also, showing affection between men and women is not white-mans' culture (and in the past the tabus of public affection for Europeans were similar to the Solomons) - just watch MTV and you will see there is a lot of affection between non-white people. It is a new global phenomenon of openess and self-expression. It is a misnomer that the many changes to traditional Solomon culture are ascribed to 'white-men'.
how can I describe that era? perhaps pre-independence days? but then it continued well after independence too....or it is a colonial attitude which then does not refer to an era in time....me conpuse na!!!!....thanks for the correction.
"Simplicity is an art" | The views and opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
Pre-independence is good, though maybe we should start some new eras - pre-tension - pre-reggae - pre-kwaso. It is interesting to note that people talk about 'our traditions', especially when living in Honiara. Honiara is full of people from lots of places with lots of different traditions, and a lot of those traditions have been changed and adapted - as they always have over the years. The traditions of five hundred years ago had different meanings, emphasis and reasons behind them compared to what are upheld as 'traditions' today. Traditions change just like cars do every year with newer models - imagine if we still made cars the same way as 100 years ago because it was 'traditional'. People can at times attempt to use 'tradition' to justify behaviour. Here's an example given to me once:
MM (Malaita Man): Well, my daughter has moved in with you now. In our Malaitan tradition, that means you are 'married', and you should pay me bride price.
Ozi: Oh, I didn't really want her to move in, she sort of snuck in with her cousin and started cooking and cleaning and I sort of got used to her being around.
MM: That's OK, you're married now. All you need to do is pay me bride price - I want a new taxi!
Ozi: (Choking) A new taxi!! (But Ozi knows something about Malaitan tradition and has to think fast here)
MM: Yep, just buy me a new taxi - then you can even take her to Australia if you want.
Ozi: Wait a minute. This is Malaitan tradition (or, hang on, shouldn't that be pigs and shell money???), and we're not in Malaita - we're in Honiara now.
MM: Yes, but we are from Malaita, and this is our kustom.
Ozi: But I'm from Australia. Our kustom is that the father of the bride pays for everything at the wedding - if I'm going to be married to your daughter we should have a big wedding!!
MM: (his turn to choke) - aaahh, eeerrr, aaaahhh.
Ozi: I think we should think about this more and talk about it again later.
MM: Yes, eerrr, let's do that.
I do feel like sometimes Solomon Islanders own this ill kind of attitute which sort of deter some from exercising their God-given right..... wear a picece of sun glasses and u'll be back stabbed by friends," man ya like show off tumas!" .... some of us are good at withstanding people from doing what they like....I don't know whether there has been any changes lately but I would like to believe that such small issues have been the provoking center of a lot of shy-kind-of-attitutes that we are known for.....so I think we shouldn't always stand beind tradition to explain most these....
We cannot use our traditions to justify our shortcomings. The world out there see no-one's traditions. Either we adapt or we'll be lagging behind. The balancing act is important here. Our tradition is kept and applied in their context. While we rise up to meet the challenges in the outside world. That would mean shedding of some of our habits,customs etc.
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