Lo home blo mi bride price hem wanfala big praktis ya, but mi always garem tink tink dat hem no stret lo mi.....mi no laek raoa waitem custom...bat mi save fil saim lo hem.....laek example hao if wan dai mi end up kaikai moa lo haos blo sista blo mi wea brada inlo blo mi an olketa pipol blo hem buym lo 20 fala red money and $2000? Bae mi feel same ya man.....tink tink nomoa ya...iufala stori kam moa!!
Me think bride price should be allowe to continue BUT price standardize. The boys side should be the one to decide on the bride price with the girls family making sure that the price meets the standard price set.
It sadden me to see young couples still struggling to find shell money to pay for bride price even after 10 years of marriage.
me wonder hao na bride price hem originated? Who na say man na should peim woman? Why not woman na peim man? Me tink why man peim woman becos lo time before lo village, woman na save doim every thing lo house, go lo garden, cut firewood, carry water, carry pikinini, wakem kaikaim while man hem olsem king... ating becos of that one nao, bride price start... so if oketa peim woman, woman bae expectim for doim every waka na ia... This wan lo time before ia....
But waswe today, same thing still happen yet?.. not for some.. for some family, man na doim every waka, earnim money and putim food lo table, while woman stap lo house nomoa... so kind ia bae hao ia.. bae woman nao should peim bride price for man or hao...
But for some... both man and woman contribute equally for putim food lo table.. so bride price bae still applicable lo here or hao?
Oketa questions ia bae might help for iumi diagnosim, the original intention why bride price hem paid. Lo time before, yes hem barava relevant... but today hem might different.. oketa session change, so samfala samting might change tu...
Ating if iumi save gud real definition and intention blo bride price then question about bride price should be answered na ia.. and whether hem applicable today..
Tageo tufala wantok fo tink tink blo u tufala....mi save herem tu ya samfala say dat oketa gele wea oketa tekem brideprice lo oketa save tink big lo hem n bae stay faithful lo family...ya but mi no save weda hem true..what na tink blo ufala?
Mi supportim dis fala practice ana proud lo hem tu. Bata mi no supportim those wea abuse the practice for commercial gain which is out of the context of brideprice. Lo marit lo ples mi kam from marit hem communal ceremony and celebration and no olsem blo man ana mere marit seleva nomoa.
Lo tintin blo mi mi save tinim hem semsem olsem lotu marrage wea married couple tekem from God thru pastor or church minister. Thru lo scramento of matrimony God hem luk save lo marrit blo tufala man ana mere. olsem thru lo brideprice pipol and society luk save lo marit ia tu.
tintin blo mi nomoa
This is an interesting topic.
I support the notion that bride price must be maintained in societies that practice it. However, not all societies practised the payment of bride price. The misused or abused of bride price should not be tolerated in our society. Payment of a bride price is negotiable. It is open for discussion between the families of the would be bride groom and the bride. At the negotiation and discussion stage, the families of the bride to be must disclose any pre-existing pregnancy of their daughter. They must also disclose any illegitimate child or children of their daughter (a child becomes legitimate on the marriage of his/her parents). These two factors and other existing factors will determine the amount of the bride price. In this instance, the value of a virgin is higher than a girl who is considered to have a notorious loose behaviour. In addition, the value of an unmarried woman who have children will be lesser than a virgin. The value of a girl who falls pregnant by another man at the time of the negotiation/discussion of the bride price will also be lower than a virgin. Now a days it is difficult to find a virgin. However, it may be the practice that most parents valued the bride price of their daughter according to the decency of their daughter from their perspective (without knowing the other side of their daughter). They also take into account the status of their family, the qualification of their daughter, the status of their daughter at her work and if that is the only daughter in the family plus other factors they may think of.
There are no standard guidelines put in place for bride price for each language group of people, districts or islands. This may be an area where the government should address at some level. I suggests that the starting point for any future guidelines for bride price should be the High Court judgment in To'ofilu v Oimae [1997] SBHC 33. This is a case where Mr Oimae failed to disclose to Mr T'o'ofilu that his daughter was pregnant at the time of the payment of bride price. In consequence, To'ofilu's son decided to dispose his wife. The interesting thing is that Oimae was orderd to refund half payment of the bride price. Read the High Court judgment here.
It is my view that where there is a marriage, for instance, a custom marriage, such marriage should not stop the brother of a bride to visit his sister, brother in law and their children. It is not the bride that a bride groom is paying, it is the "relationship" that the bride groom is paying. At marriage a long lasting relationship is born. Once that is complete by the parties, the road is open for the families of the spouse to visit them.
In societies where bride price is not practiced, gifts were exchanged between the families to establish their relationship. In cases of inter marriages between islands, it is always the case that the bride will be adopted into one of the tribes on the island of the bride groom. This is basically, to create relationship.
Those are my views. What na ting ting blo yufala?
this is a really interesting topic, i do agree that we should keep our culture but not use it to make money......i know bride price went from a cultural practice to some money making scheme for some people.
My family experience this firsthand. An uncle decided to date a girl from one of those areas that are notorious for asking KOMBANI and seeing that he is well off, the girls family took advantage of the situation. He was a decent man with strong morals therefore did not encourage this particular girl to come over to our house. It happened one weekend when the girls aunts and brothers get together for some quick money making scheme.
The aunts encourage the girl to go to another of the aunts house and stay there, while the brothers will claim that our uncle stole the girl, they then come to the house demanding 10000 dollars, in response we called the cops. When they realised that the cops get involved they decided to tell the truth.
This are the kind of things we shouldnt be doing, we are putting shame on our culture....after such actions how do you justify yourselves by claiming that "its our culture" Ive seen and heard alot of people use culture as an excuse to justify certain behaivours.
and what about the islands that do not practise bride price? how do we fit into this? when our girls marry out.....they are free but not vice versa....also we dont ask the girls family to clean our (intended) garbbage, but then was asked to go do it for a brother who (unfortunately) decided to marry outside our system....
I'm one of those married to so called notorious areas know for hiking bride price. An uncle in fact had already tied the knot before me and i've got cousins roughly my age from that marriage.
Bride price is good as we know it except certain people as Renee had experience make it bad. It is indeed a sad sage to know that within the village that i'm married there are in-laws (wife's cousins and other relatives)and many others there still to complete their bride price.
Typical conversation when meeting friends are like this,
'u marry now'
me: yea, marry.
' long long wea?
me: long area olsem.
next question as expected, how mas payem missis blong you?
I love watching their facial expression when i told them that i didn't pay any bride price which is true. I got thru by chasing up my wife's family which include,real brothers and parent and made deals that turns out to benefit both our families.
To conclude all is not bad with known notorious area that hijack bride price. Keep the bride price and find ways that will mutually benefits both families.
Interesting discussion. My observation is that nowhere in the Solomons can we find a society that keeps all its traditions. Some customs have disppeared with the ages and new ones are re-invented as we go alone.. may be to fit in with the times. Some how it is interesting to note that only those customs that have money benefits at the end are still going strong.. Bride Price, Compensation, .. funny in that many people now only refer to compansational issues as custom. A lot of other chastity and noble ways that raise up a well groomed individual have been forgotten. How to sit, how to lay down in public, how to skras kokonut properly, courtesy to others, respect for Elders, .. the same people that would demand compensation now are those that would go and rob the expat lady .. very interesting.
Most People nowadys are getting western values.. they do not sell their kids any more. Usually when one does, it is because their own wife acquisition has gone through the same bride price process.. and they owe it to those who contributed to the Bride Price payment.. to charge bride price on their daughters to reciprocate.
Culture is our identity.. but in the not so far future, my guess is that people will disassociate themselves from cultural identity.. just because of which cultural values we choose to implement and which ones we repress.
Just for the money.. the Western currency ultimately. Bear that in mind. Thats just another view to keep the discussion going..
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..so put me on a highway ... and show me a sign ... and take it to the limit .... one more time...
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