YOU KNOW YOU’RE A SOLOMON ISLANDER WHEN…
1. You visit a country that is not third-world and think you’re in a different century and miss home because you can’t adjust
2. You settle with ‘Papua New Guinean’ or ‘Somalian’ as a descent because you can’t be bothered to describe the location of your country, it’s too small
3. You know someone with the name James and still choose to call them ‘Deme’ or ‘Demesi’ (same for John, ‘Dione’ or ‘Dion’)
4. You spend an hour at immigration because they don’t recognize your passport and yellow card you as a possible terrorist
5. You know who Nati Hatsoa, Chief Keku, Seka/Sweet Sugar is
6. You stop a taxi in the middle of the road even though there are taxi stands nearby
7. You have 15 or more people living in your house
8. Your house is like a ‘Bus Depo’ for your extended family sleep overs
9. You have at least 3 ‘Juniors’ in your family
10. You drink Solbrew and think it's the worlds' best creation
11. You kick start your weekend on Thursday and end it on Sunday
12. You think Saratoga is the best alternative just because ‘hem kicky fast’
13. You see a gorgeous guy and find out he’s your cousin, tracking generations apart
14. You have two or more pictures of Jesus in your house
15. You use “lava lava’s” as curtains or to cover your cushions/sofa’s
16. A single bedroom is filled with 5 beds
17. You have a pile of sandals/slippers blocking the entrance door
18. You make that funny kissing sound with your lips to get someone’s attention
19. During your childhood, you’ve been beaten by the following: extension cord, hose pipe, stick, whip, belt or your parent’s hands
20. Being whipped is considered discipline and not child abuse
21. You had to fetch for the device before you get beaten
22. You have attempted putting coconut husks in your pants or layering clothes to avoid bruises when you’re getting a beating
23. You’d drink outside a club and get drunk before entering
24. You down wine as if it was a shot
25. (GIRLS) You’ve had your hair shaven by your older brother/father at least twice because you were naughty
26. You change hairstyles almost every month
27. Family that don’t live with you think you’re house is a grocery store
28. You use the word ‘Kaon’ a hundred times followed by a laugh to hopefully overshadow you’re embarrassment
29. You have more than one colour couch in your living room
30. You hide from your mum and dad when you’re smoking, and you’re almost 40!!
31. You still live with your parents and you’re 30+
32. Your grandmother thinks Vicks Vapo Rub is the cure for everything!
33. Your local doctor prescribes ‘amoxicillin’ for every illness
34. You get severely sick and your family calls in ‘the custom man’ for an exorcism
35. You believe spirits of your ancestors live in animals
36. The only exercise you do is walking to the bus stop
37. You have a lifetime supply of ‘waioka’ tuna
38. You meet another fellow Solomon Islander; you greet them with “How?”
39. You’re the only one laughing when someone gets hurt
40. You agree with exceeding number of passengers on a boat just to get to the village
41. All the people in your town are poor except for the ‘arekwaos’ and ‘politicians’
42. You think you run and own time (time is your friend)
43. Commitments are your worst enemy
44. You’re the last passenger to board a flight
45. You exceed the weight limit of baggage at the airport and think it would make a difference to buy a Chinese checkered plastic bag and split the luggage
46. You are offered tea and asked how many spoonfuls of sugar you take in every household
47. You soak your bread in your cup of tea
48. You think there's no business like wantok business
49. You curse after receiving ‘Subscriber cannot be connected at the moment’ or ‘subscriber is offline’
50. Your house has a leaf hut that the boys claim as their ‘lodge’
51. You splurge on electronics and don’t know how to use them so you take it back to the store and say it’s broken
52. You think things made in china are valuable
53. Your parents force you to go to church
54. A fight breaks out between your uncles and it’s the aunties that do most of the beating
55. (GIRLS) Your mother cherishes arekwao’s and your upbringing was solely based around marrying a arekwao to support the family
56. In the church ceremony for your wedding, only family members are there but when it’s time for the feast, you are introduced to 60 new cousins, uncles, aunties
57. Back home when asked where you’re from, you specify your province, but overseas, you say Solomon Islands to another fellow country man
58. You mix pidjin words in English and think its fine or 'sounds cool'
59. You think commonly of public humiliation and beatings to young boys who try to steal alcohol
60. You know you’re lazy and don’t want to work, but act like you do
61. Everything you do is last minute and your excuse is always ‘ehhh Solomon time’
62. You know someone who goes, went to KGVI School
63. You use coconut oil for your hair instead of gel
64. You prefer going places barefoot and get aggravated if you are forced to wear shoes
65. Girls go clubbing in flip flops and boys in board shorts
66. You know someone that eats glass when they are drunk off their face and accept it
67. You know everything that happens in town, even though you don’t want to know
68. You think ‘kawareh’ is an exciting place for drunkards
69. You don’t know what McDonalds is and you think KFC is like the one overseas
70. You chew betel-nut every hour with lime and korokua
71. You can name 5 people on one hand who have been to jail and 5 on the other who should go to jail
72. You dance slowly to techno-ish music
73. You are dating someone, you have acquired to dating the WHOLE family!
74. You get asked out and your response is ‘Mi no less’
75. You know you're a Solomon Islander when you have read through this and have laughed or disagreed with them.... LOL. feel free to add on!
samfala more..
1. U got a degree in maths and still call zero 'ou' as in 02..
2. u wait for 2 hrs for bus.
3. one taxi charges you $50.00 and anther $10.00 for the same route and distance..
:LOL! turu nao. this is a great list. I laughed like mad. Unfortunately, I cannot add to the list but it will be fun to see other ideas too!!!
"Simplicity is an art" | The views and opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.
U know u r a Solomon Islander when u MISS CALL someone to call u back cos u ownim phone nothing nomoa no save top upim...lol..
u know, ur in solo when you see black markets just along the road...
and cops are some of the top customers of black markets (beer)..
and a police operation targeting black market is on because it's cops loose week...
an you' a solomona becos you know eveyone else in town..
samfala to:
- kakae bettle nut and spit olobaot nomoa no matter there is notice saying "Don't spit bettle nut juice olobaot"
_ smoke at "smoke free zone"
- Public assets established by government only for a day or week nomoa by function good
- overload lo ship time marine stopem and stick to maximum passenger only
- ask compensation quick time tumas and collem value wea one thinks he can use to buy his dreamed items from shops
- live lo kaon and kaon big nomatter salary small
- pay half kaon lo fortnight and still ask for kaon.
you know you are Solomon Islander when:
* you believe a party is only a party if you get really drunk and wasted
* a herd of people crossing the road stop traffic on a busy intersection
* you are fond of old cars
* you meet an unsmiling bank teller chewing PK gum like a cow
U know u r a Solomon Islander when:
1.Time good fren blo u kam towards u sitting with OTHER FRENS under a tree, u tane lo narawan lo side n say "U na kam ya?"...lol
2. u see a coconut tree n think of many ways to climb it.
3. U r so caught up with ur 16 page daily newspaper that even Fiji Times bat u callem lo "Star" chuu...
4. U waerim jean for sleep waitem
ufala moa .....lol
n if u r a Solomon Islander u can't miss a song saying "YAGA YO NAO".....wat na meaning blo hem ya?..lol
u re a solomona when you skip lunch..
..lunch is all migoreng noodle..
..spend lunch hour staring idly at the screen (lol)...
@nono...lol....hao u tok ya bara meanim wanfala baka distime nomoa na ya...lol...ma garem bound for buym lunch chuuuuuuuuuu...lol..hahahahahah
an u r a solomona when being away from country for a month, an u come back long kantry, voice changed now and preten no savy long pidjin an langus...
You know you are Solomon lslander when you legitimize kaon as way of getting favours for free and forget about repyment later.
U know u r from the Solomon Islands when....
time u kakai ota tallem for u stay quiet...."Wat kind mouth moa bae u kakai lo hem n wati kind wan moa bae u tok lo hem oketa!" said daddy wif the broom ready to whack u like a fly when u engage in a war of words wif ur siblings over the day's outings...lol
u r not from Solo if u no savy bitim light by at least 2 hrs (official working hrs ends: 4:30pm you arrive home at 2:30pm daily.
an u know u r from solo, if lights beats you by 2 hr in the morning..
Waswe following?,
-you see a passenger throwing empty ice block plastic/can drink off traveling buses.
-you can't go to sleep due to drunks making noise till morning and nobody seems to bother.
-two people in two separate vehicles traveling in opposite direction having a conversation as if no other traffic needs the road.
-a vehicle is traveling at 20km/h on a highway.
-someone in an office answers you saying,"mi no save, bae kam baek tumoro"
-a drunk tries to steal a cooked egg from a poor lady in the market.
You can know if you're a Solomon Islander:
marketeman
You can know if you're a Solomon Islander:
marketeman
You know you are Solomon Islander
-when your wantok causes trouble with other neighbours but instead of telling him off for his actions you start deffending him become offensive at the inocent victim just because he is not a wantok.
U r a solomona when you apply for a job in the Health sector, saying you're 40yrs in July this year (2010).
work experience includes working as a nurse from 1980 to 1982...
You are a Solomon Islander only if you see other countrymen as Solomon Islander... laek act olsem araikwao senisim life style fo live olsem whitman....LOL.. Tink of cultural living an old age...
1. When you have to wake up early in the morning to go to the garden or out to fish...skip lunch, for the evening meal
2. or off to the plantation to cut copra for the teacher, the doctor, the pilot, or whatever your precious ones care to be,
3. or to work faithfully, cleaning office windows, collecting empty cans of Solbrew to make ends meet.
4. When your professional pay package is on the same scale as a cleaner in Oz
5. When you...the list goes on
when you search in vain for a 8-battery radio in Oz or NZ...
have stadium fright...
and keep on losing in 11-aside international soccer...
u r a Solomon Islander when u
r crazy 'bout soccer n thought that u can beat any team in the Pacific...
when u think of others faith are second to yours.
1. When you keep on adding to the list above...lol ya ba...
"Just Do It" - NIKE
time you like sing olsem bob marley, lucky dube and the jamaican accent! even worse you se dis one solo music.
you get a call from an unknown number and the caller which u dont recognise his/her voice said in less than 0.2 seconds "ring come baek!"
Call People from Malaitia as Isabelians.
and your PM is at best a puppet..
ota granny blo u before acceptim tabaco in exchange for land...hahale
U know u r a Solomon Ialnders when u lukim beer then say...eh Kwa na kiki blo hem fast...LOL...
*uncle lo home sendem come letter wetem $50 dollar and say peim cme 5 bag rice 3 cateen noodle den left over peim bread and coffee mix osem. hahahah
*time drunk kickim oketa drum upside down wea oketa no garem any problem.
*drunk full week end and askem ido..smoke & bus fare lo monday morning
*arrive go lo house & banga lo fifty fala slipper lo ladder
*uncle arrive lo house first ples for visitim na kitchen say morning come but hand openem oketa pot
*askem MP for beim napkin & blanket, basin for baby bae born. ae ma pikinini blo who ya?
when gavaman blong yumi depen lo olketa donor kantri ovasis for kamapim seleni for budget then expectim olketa ovasis for hearim quiktaim olketa opinion bilong yumi
electim man for member wea yumi save hem killim dai man finis then think sae nem bai hem orait
every member of parliament is honourable
You're not a Solomon Islander when;
1- You get too educated and think your country is a joke
2- You go overseas, see things and think that you were born in the wrong country
3- You are looking for a taxi stand, cos solo no garem taxi stand
4- No one will mourn for you when you die cos you live by yourself in your big house and speak to no wantok or relative
5- You see a Tokipian and think he's from Tonga
6- You pay a packet of cigarettes instead of rolls
7- You are late for work just bicos you think overloading of public bus isn't right
8- You don't know where to buy beers after 6pm
9- You don't beat your kids to discipline
10- You don't know where you've come from
Aiya add kam moa!
u r not a Solomon Islander when:
1-You don't want to miss call others to call you back.
2-You don't want to refill an empty coca cola can with Kwaso to enjoy it topless behind a moving hilux.
3-You don't want to sit on the cabin of the a moving truck.
You no laekem wantok fo full lo haus.........nomoa kakae
You laek ofum light nomoa afta evri wan kakae finis lo evining...bae bill high
You no laek mitim wantok lo taon taem u garem seleni......nogud spoilem budget
You speak english taem tok waitem mami o dadi lo home.........wanem
Promotim wantok nomata hem no qualify..........tumasi na ia
Staka yet bata givim chance fo samfala moa
Hey guys time umi readim everything umi writtem dwn ya which they are reality wat nao ufala think aboutim?
some of them are good but others not. lo side lo wantok system somehow hem good but since umi poor country hem save spoilem too umi.
Life lo solo osem nao ya. ufala pipol go school gud cme ba mas facim too reality lo solo otherwise waka cme oversea nao after graduate with a Doctorate.
"Life lo Solo osem nao..." true tumas listy...dastawae hem fun fo storym n laugh laugh...LOL
nomata two years overseas..solo still luv you fala..
You know you're a Solomon Islander when you have read through this and have laughed or disagreed with them.... LOL
mi clever nao time readim oketa sumtin ya, culture, culture shock, foreign influence. tintin tasol all these things affect our well being. Hope nomoa ufala go lo Australia den come back no say wad na bahera.
You blo SOLO:
1. Time Hot sun bata werem beanie (Hood) nomore..even though man hot & swet narawe..
2. Callem Bandana, Scarf..
3. Changim selen for $2 for Bus fare, even though Bus fare hem $3 finish
4. Accessim finish na Form 5 exam papers even b4 exams hem officially happen
5. Time you go oversea, oketa wantok askem yu for payim kam what oketa laekem, eventhough you survive lo student allowance nomore...hehe
6. You walk thru lo customs lo Henderson, no checkem luggage nomore..becos cousin nomore customs officer lo there...
u know u r from Solomon when...osem mi age go fas time then size easy strol kam behind...
U know u r from the Solomon when...time u walk into any office receptionist osem like kakaim u nomoa...ma smile lelebeti...
U know u r from the Solomons when pays days hem time for changim kaon..LOL maka LOL
- You are Solomon islander time u go for waka lo 10am time waka start lo 7:30 or 8am. And u livim office lo 3:30pm time waka finis lo 5pm. Then weekend u go waka fo OT
-
- You are Solomon islander time u go for waka lo 10am time waka start lo 7:30 or 8am. And u livim office lo 3:30pm time waka finis lo 5pm. Then weekend u go waka fo OT
-
olo lo side field like controlom referee wea teckem qaulification lo FIFA....
nearly every new PM would like O2 nomoa..lol
...taem pipol laek torowe stone an bonbone taem electim new PM
All of the above ............ its the beauty of our beloved Solomon Islands. Being a Solomon Islander efri ting described above is (us, we SI'ders)...........its the beauty of Solo. Unity in Diversity.
You know you are a Solomon Islander:
When the bus conductor shouted at you at the bus stop '' waitm train''
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